Racing for Palm Trees

[Phil]

This guy shows up at our Nursery.  He sort of lurks around for a while, looks at a few palms and then approaches me.  He says, "I've got an idea.  Let's race for palms".  He doesn't look like a fast guy.  So, not to be duped, I ask him what kind of car he has.  He says "an old sports car".  He won't fool me on this one.  I ask, "what kind?"  Then he says, come take a look.  So, outside is this mildly aged older sports car.  Now, I have a new GMC 4 door dualie pickup.   Big engine.  And, it's pretty quick.  So, I look at the car, look at him, look again at the car and ponder the deal.....

I'm thinking.....

[bgl]

Forget about the car - what kind of palm are we talking here?? Phoenix roebelenii? Lemurophoenix halleuxii?? That's the key question!

[Phil]

....so I think about it for a while.  An old sports car against General Motors new engines???  I certainly don't want to be tricked by this guy.  Does he know something I don't know?  I'm waffeling on this one.   He's got on shades and I don't really know who he is.  He might be a professional con man that came to the nursery where we look like easy prey.  But, we're just a sleepy beach town in San Diego.  This wouldn't happen here.  So, just to be sure, I say "show me what's under the hood".  (can't fool me).  He did so and I knew I had him.  The darn hood opened backwards.  How fast can that kind of car be???  And, the engine was named after a "bra".  This guys going down!  

null

[Phil]

I am a bit suspicious.  I ponder over what to do next.  I fumble for my cell phone and call the only guy I know that knows about engines: Bo Lundkvist in Hawaii.  He knows all about engines...at least airplane engines.  Bo seems surprised, but after he gets the whole story asks, "what kind of palm does he want?"  But, I don't know.   What if he wants to race for a really rare one?

[BS Man about Palms]

Hmmm, seems like a shady guy if you ask me...  ???

[palmislandRandy]

Cool  TVR!

[_Keith]

Only bet what you care to lose.   He's got you.

[Phil]

So I ask him what kind of palm does he want to race for.  He starts rattling off rare species like he's a botanical dictionary.  Well he knows about palms, but does he know about cars?  I ask, "is this the original engine?" He admits that it is not.  So, "the last engine broke down?" I ask (thinking it must have been a problem model or something like that).  He didn't quite answer that one, making me a bit uneasy.  And, behind the shades and everything.....  Perhaps he's a plant from a "back East nursery" like Searle Brothers in Fort Lauderdale.  They do NasCar back there and this might be one of their guys.

[Phil]

My conscience tells me not to bet what I can't lose.  But, we have so many palm trees......I've got to break for dinner and think this one over.  I tell him that I'll be back to discuss it further in a while.

[madagascarbob]

See if he'll trade the car for palms !

[pogobob]

Carefull Phill, That guy may be BSing you!  

[calyptrocalyx&licuala freck]

Hi Phil,

I would,nt race him Dude, Thats a Ford Cobra motor,

Bet his last motor went,just as good,Would'nt have gone as

hard as whats there now, not only that looks like he's

got a Hot wiring set up, Bit more pure power.

Be careful, Hey tell him you just want to race,

You'll get a surprise Phil, Get a pic of underneath

of the back end (Want to see what diff etc) do the

same at the front (Just to see if he's hiding couple of other things.

Cheers Mikey

[mppalms]

Sure.  I'd race him:  his car vs. my washy.  

Jason

[Tyrone]

That's either a windsor 302 or 289. Probably not a real cobra engine, the rocker covers could have been bolted on to a standard little small block Ford. Why does he have a chrome oil filler cap on alloy rocker covers?????. Looks a bit dodgy. Did you drive it. Was it fast, or all noise no go. Strange proposition though.

regards

Tyrone

[Phil]

I came back from dinner and all the guys were talking about the car and this shady dude.   Several warned me that he was up to no good.  One worker said he thought this car was as fast as a spiting snake.  What the heck did he mean?  I grabbed the closest palm to me, a Washingtonia, to try to flush out this fellow's intent.  No go, he said.  How about a Queen Palm.  He smurked.  I wish I had a potato to put in his tail pipe so I could show him who is the real king palm in this neighborhood.

[bgl]

Phil,

Asking me about engines....yeah, that's a good one!!  I may know a little about airplane engines, but certainly not from a practical point of view. Anyway, while we're waiting anxiously to learn the outcome, I figured I could temporarily hijack the thread - since you mention engines...  

WAY BACK, when I had just started working for this airline, Transair Sweden, the Public Relations guy approached me and said they (the airline) needed to send out a Christmas cards to all their customers. This was in Dec. 1960, and I was 16 and (by far) the youngest in the airline. (And I was obviously a push-over at the time!!). To make a long story short, he talked me into putting on this silly Santa Claus suit, sit on this Pratt & Whitney 18 cylinder R-2800 engine on a Douglas DC-6. They sent out thousands of these Christmas cards, and I've had this one buried deep in a drawer for many years. As a matter of fact, I just found it when we moved to Hawaii, 35 years after the fact, but I guess I'm past the initial embarrassment now!

OK, Phil, back to you. We're all waiting for the exciting conclusion. Did he challenge you on I-5 down to San Diego? And did you leave the California Highway Patrol in the dust?? Pictures would be good!!  

Bo-Göran

[Phil]

I had a plan.  Roosty got out some old Christmas cards of a friend sitting on an airplane to try to distract this dude.  I then quietly snuck back to the street to check under this guy's car.  Perhaps there was something underneath that would let me know if this car was a sleeper.   I don't know much about exhaust manifolds and tailpipes, but this car had more than its share of them.  Caution was due.  In the meantime, Roosty continued his distraction by asking "So fellow, what's your name, any way?"  He professionally responded, "To the girls, Honey.  To you, Sir William".  What was he trying to tell us?

[Phil]

Now Roosty is not royalty.  The word "Sir" is not in his surfing vocabulary.  But, his voice was starting to sound more familiar.  Perhaps I've seen him on one of those Jay Leno shows where Jay talks about unusual cars.  Or, perhaps he's been at a Palm Society Meeting.  He seems to know his palm stuff.  If only I could get him to lower his shades, then I could nail his true identity....

[gsn]

Me thinKs under the new forum guidelines this should not be here! ::

This belongs in the PALA, oh wait, in the  new OHANA NUI!

[cfkingfish]

Phil-

That is a 302 HO (High Output) Ford motor, that may be the same setup in Mustang Cobras from 93-95 until the 4.6 (281ci) came out. It could honestly be anything under there. If he is going all forged pistons and worked heads...etc, that could be an 11-12 second car. If you are going to do it, get a straightaway because he will have you in handling even though all his weight is up front.

Odd though, he uses the crappiest oil filter you can get and it is remotely located. Tell him to pop the trunk and see if he has nitrous or anything sneaky in the back.

[Phil]

So we came up with our final assault.  We had to get him to reveal his true identity by lowering the shades.  We concocted a story about a new nursery worker carrying a spiny Trithrinax really close to his blue roadster.  It worked.  While inspecting his car for new scratches, he remeoved the shades.  Please help us identify this fellow.  I still don't know whether or not to take him up on the challenge.

l

[cfkingfish]

I stand corrected......shady man, WE HAVE A BSer! The TVR should have given it away. :cool:

[Phil]

Yes, it was Bill Sanford and his very fast car.  And, I hope no one took this seriously.  My thanks to BS Man about Palms and all of the rest of you for playing along.

Phil

[www.dadluvsu.com]

What a bunch of BS...  that man's all about palms!

(good story Phil!)

[PalmGuyWC]

Who the heck is Bill Sanford?

Dick

[PalmGuyWC]

......and I-5 is no longer a speedway. The last time I drove from Oceanside to San Diego the traffic crept along at an incredable 20 MPH!

Dick

[palmmermaid]

Good story!  Thanks for sharing!

[Jeff Searle]

(Phil @ Nov. 19 2007,20:48)

QUOTE

So I ask him what kind of palm does he want to race for.  He starts rattling off rare species like he's a botanical dictionary.  Well he knows about palms, but does he know about cars?  I ask, "is this the original engine?" He admits that it is not.  So, "the last engine broke down?" I ask (thinking it must have been a problem model or something like that).  He didn't quite answer that one, making me a bit uneasy.  And, behind the shades and everything.....  Perhaps he's a plant from a "back East nursery" like Searle Brothers in Fort Lauderdale.  They do NasCar back there and this might be one of their guys.

Phil,

    HEY....I feel cheated! I did'nt even get a chance to respond.  

PS....did he at least buy something?

Jeff

[waykoolplantz]

Big motor...small car...you'd lose

[Pivi]

Great guys  :laugh:

[deezpalms]

Too funny Phil!! Now how does Billy boy expect to take home any palms in that thing???  

[Cycadcenter]

Phil,

Must have been a slow day in the ER for you to have time to do all those posts.

Bruce

[GREENHAND]

(cfkingfish @ Nov. 20 2007,00:33)

QUOTE

Phil-

That is a 302 HO (High Output) Ford motor, that may be the same setup in Mustang Cobras from 93-95 until the 4.6 (281ci) came out. It could honestly be anything under there. If he is going all forged pistons and worked heads...etc, that could be an 11-12 second car. If you are going to do it, get a straightaway because he will have you in handling even though all his weight is up front.

Odd though, he uses the crappiest oil filter you can get and it is remotely located. Tell him to pop the trunk and see if he has nitrous or anything sneaky in the back.

You are right, my son has a 95 mustang cobra, and it runs pretty good, you can tell it is crammed in there , he had no room for the oil filter anywere else, i have seen the same motor in some of those Cobra Kit cars.

[PalmGuyWC]

I'm still wanting to know.....who is Bill Sanford? A well know palm grower, celebrity, or what? Radio announcer? We don't get LA radio in N. Calif.

Dick

[Kim]

Good story, Phil.  You guys are cracking me up!  Bo, you are one skinny Santa, that was good for a laugh.

[Jeff Searle]

(PalmGuyWC @ Nov. 20 2007,12:16)

QUOTE

I'm still wanting to know.....who is Bill Sanford? A well know palm grower, celebrity, or what? Radio announcer? We don't get LA radio in N. Calif.

Dick

Dick,

          Bill Sanford is one of our biggest and most well liked forum members here. King of the "Ranch Hands". (well thats another explanation we'll have to explain). Anyways, he's under the name BS man about Palms, lives in Oceanside, single, about 40 years old, SS# is 331-34-5980, drives fast cars, collects rare dypsis species,bla,bla,bla.

007

[PalmGuyWC]

Thank you Jeff,

Damn, it takes a guy from Fla. to fill me in. Ok, I read BS man's comments all the time, just didn't know his real name.

Dick

[pogobob]

Bill Sanford, aka BS man about palms, owner of "The Container Ranch" He can be spotted flitting about the meadows and forests of his enchanted land, accompanied with a covy of near virgin ranchhands with fantasy sparkles in thier wake :laugh: That's who....

[LJG]

Bill, where did you have that stored? In the garage?

[paulgila]

classic stuff!!! :laugh: